Thursday, February 17, 2011
"Your prettiness is seeping through
Out from the dress I took from you, so pretty (on you)
My emptiness is swollen shut
Always a wretch I have become
Please, Please don't leave me.
I'm watching Naomi, full bloom
I'm hoping she will soon explode
Into one billion tastes and tunes
One billion angels come and hold her down
They could hold her down until she cries.
I'm tasting Naomi's perfume
It tastes like shit and I must say
She comes and goes most afternoons
One billion lovers wave and love her now
They could love her now, and so could I.
There is no Naomi in view
She walks through Cambridge stocks and strolls
And if she only really knew
One billion angels could come and save her soul
They could save her soul until she shines.
Until she shines.
Please, Please don't leave me."
-"Naomi" by Neutral Milk Hotel
This song describes how I've felt all day.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I can't really explain it, but I've been praying a lot lately. Or maybe it's not praying. I've never really been religious--not in the sense of the word. So, maybe it's just internal speaking? I don't exactly know who or what I'm speaking to. I guess God? I'm not even sure what that means. All I know is that there is a strange comfort in the idea that I'm never alone--the idea that something, or someone, is listening. I get lost in my head a lot, and it's hard to express things aloud when there's no one who can listen. And even when there is someone, I often can't speak as quickly as my thoughts pass. So even if these dialogues are just with myself, it's nice to imagine there's an understanding ear.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I've had a lot of time to myself today. It's strange, it's as if I've been conversing with myself all day. Sometimes I feel cramped, but that goes away...and then comes back. I guess it's just an endless cycle. I can't always put my feet on the ground, but when I can I'm not sure that I even wanted to stand in the first place. Hm, who ever really knows...